Writing community guidelines people will follow

Most community guidelines are written in a hurry, usually right after something goes wrong, and it shows. They run to two pages, open with a list of things members must never do and read like the warning sign at a public swimming pool. Members scroll straight past them.

Good guidelines work differently. They are short enough to read in a minute, clear enough that nobody has to guess what they mean, and written to describe the community you want rather than the one you fear. They also make moderation far easier, because when you step in you are pointing to something everyone agreed to, not inventing rules on the spot.

Why long rulebooks get ignored

A rulebook that tries to cover every possible situation fails twice. First, nobody reads it, so it shapes no one's behavior. Second, the more specific rules you write, the more members assume anything not listed is allowed, and the more time you spend arguing about wording instead of intent.

Your guidelines are not a contract. They are a short description of how people here treat each other and what the space is for. You keep the right to use judgment, and you can say so. A new member should come away knowing the tone, the few things that matter and where to go if something is wrong.

Describe the behavior you want

People respond better to a picture of good behavior than to a list of offenses. Positive phrasing also tells new members something about the culture: this is a place where people help, share and disagree kindly. Compare these rewrites from a quilting club's guidelines:

• Before: No rude, abusive or insulting comments will be tolerated.
• After: Be kind, especially when giving feedback. Everyone here was a beginner once.
• Before: Do not post off-topic content.
• After: Keep posts about quilting, sewing and the craft around them. Chat about life goes in the Lounge.
• Before: Spam and advertising are strictly prohibited and will result in a ban.
• After: Share your own work freely. If you sell patterns or teach classes, mention them in the monthly Makers thread, not in general discussion.

The rewrites are not softer; the advertising one is more precise, because it says where promotion is welcome. Positive does not mean vague.

Keep it to a handful of guidelines

Five to seven guidelines is usually enough for a membership community. Each should be a single sentence, with an optional second sentence of explanation or example. If you find yourself writing sub-clauses and exceptions, you are trying to anticipate every situation, and that is a job for your judgment as a moderator, not for the page.

A useful test: could a member recite the gist of your guidelines after reading them once? If not, cut or combine until they could.

Be specific about what actually causes trouble

“Be respectful” belongs in almost every set of guidelines, but the most useful lines are the ones specific to your community. Think about the problems your kind of community tends to have, and name them plainly:

• A quilting club might need a line about paid patterns, since posting someone's pattern in full is a common and well-meant mistake.
• A business coaching program might need a line about confidentiality, because members discuss real revenue figures and client problems.
• A fitness challenge group might need a line about medical advice, asking members to share experiences but not to diagnose or prescribe.
• A professional association might need a line about using the member directory to solicit clients.

If you are not sure what to include, look at the last few posts you had to remove or the last awkward conversation you had with a member. Those are your real guidelines, waiting to be written down.

Say what happens when things go wrong

End with a short, calm explanation of what members can expect if a guideline is broken, and how to report a problem. Keep it proportionate. Most issues are handled with a friendly private message, and members should know that. They should also know that serious or repeated problems can lead to posts being removed or access being suspended, so nobody is surprised if it happens.

Include one clear way to raise a concern, whether that is a report button, a moderator's name or a contact address. Members who can report a problem quietly are less likely to argue it out in public.

A template you can adapt

Here is a complete set for a hypothetical quilting club:

How we do things in the Stitch Circle

1. Be kind, especially when giving feedback. Everyone here was a beginner once.
2. Ask anything. There are no silly questions about quilting, only unanswered ones.
3. Show your work, finished or not. Works in progress are always welcome.
4. Credit designers. Share photos of quilts made from patterns, but never post a paid pattern itself.
5. Keep selling to the monthly Makers thread, where it is welcome.
6. What members share here stays here. Ask before sharing anyone's post or photo elsewhere.

If something is not right, use the report link or message a moderator. Most problems are sorted out with a friendly word. Serious or repeated problems may lead to posts being removed or membership being suspended.

Put your guidelines where people will see them

Guidelines only work if members meet them at the right moments. Build them into the places members already pass through:

1. Show them, or a one-line summary with a link, when a member first joins the community.
2. Pin them at the top of your forum or discussion area.
3. Mention the one or two most important points in your welcome email.
4. When you moderate, quote the relevant guideline so members connect the rule to the reason.

Guidelines mentioned only when someone is in trouble feel like a rulebook. Guidelines you mention when you thank someone (“this is exactly what we mean by showing your work”) feel like a shared culture. As the host of your forum, you set that example every day.

Your next steps

• List the last five problems you dealt with in your community, and the five behaviors you most want to see more of.
• Turn those into five to seven one-sentence guidelines, phrased positively where you can.
• Add one line about how to report a problem and one about what happens when guidelines are broken.
• Read the draft aloud. Cut anything that sounds like a legal notice.
• Ask two or three trusted members what is unclear.
• Publish it, pin it, link it from your welcome email and set a reminder to review it every six months.